At the end of the creek in winter
Against the creek-ice he did deliver on a poison promise to himself -
pop-point, a surreal tangent of a desultory walk devolved - sudden flame flared up to stars overhead whirling - as He, with rough hands, continued to knead her childish flesh, until a beginning brood did he strew into her virginal womb – claimed without check as his own.
or in a slightly different presentation .....
Against the creek-ice he delivers
to the child a poison promise to himself -
surreal tangent of desultory walk devolves
to the stars overhead
his rough hands knead child-flesh
beginning brood he strew-pours
into her virginal womb –
claimed without check as his own.
I chuckled because the poem I submitted tonight also has stars overhead. Stars shining down on a very different scene from your poem!ReplyDelete
It reminded me of Nick Cave (a compliment). Sinister and sensuous at once.
Thanks Simon - I just write them down -don't know where they come from :). Wrote another and going to visit your stars before I sleepDelete
rough hands on child flesh are anathema, but I salute your ingenuity with the wordle words.ReplyDelete
Oh yes Viv! It is meant to be a horrific poem - I wrote another for balance -as I commented before I just transcribe and tweak - don't know where these things come from :)Delete
I did find it a little horrific too, especially the last verse. I'm glad you wrote another!ReplyDelete
Sorry, this subject is a personal trigger for me. But, I applaud your freedom to write about it.ReplyDelete
Dear Elizabeth - this poem in no way celebrates such violence - it illuminates the stark reality that so many innocents are subjugated on so many levels both personal and global to the rampant power of others. Thank you for your comment :)Delete
Short and... well, not sweet. But a well written and really concise, scary piece.ReplyDelete
Violence. You took a horrific subject and, in your poetic hands, spoke for the roughly silenced. Bravo!ReplyDelete
I very much enjoyed the angular nature of this - it has spikes like the creek ice, and very much in a mood with the subject.ReplyDelete
Surreal indeed....these wordle words (I didn't wordle this week) did not leave me with a pleasant image. More the stuff of a nightmare.ReplyDelete
Thanks for being a supporter of Poetry Pantry. Wishing you a very Happy New Year and a productive writing year.
I am with you there - as to where the words come from. I tried to write a short non-story verse this week and my Muse demanded more. You can find that here:ReplyDelete
Mr. Linky has the Story-verse link. If you are interested.
Reality isn't always pretty. One would like to hope there was a 'peaceful' resolution. But not all crimes are solved much less reported. We can only hope that our poetic triggers pull words that will shoot poignant points home.
Thanks Jules - I would agree with your point that reality isn't always pretty - I would add that poetry is often read at many levels - with stark images often symbolic :)Delete
I had to check the response I had, and sure enough it was your wordle. Not a pretty pic.ReplyDelete
Slightly different I say... awareness grabbed in few words.ReplyDelete
Thanks for stopping by - I tried to visit you but couldn't find your blog :(Delete
Beautifully sleek and succinct, loved it.ReplyDelete
Thank you Linda - I tried to visit you but could not gain access to your blog! :(Delete
Sorry. Blogger insists my name is Linda. I am not Linda. I am Brenda. Brenda Bishop Blakey. But I meant the comment(s).Delete
Hi Brenda - Thank you so very much for stopping along with your Blogger alter ego Linda who incidentally also liked the poem.Delete
Beautifully wordled. Brilliantly evil.ReplyDelete
so disturbing, well o createdReplyDelete
That was unexpected, which just intensified my emotional reaction to it.ReplyDelete
Oh my! Thank you all for taking the time to visit and comment - As I said at the outset - I don't always know where these words come from - I often feel that I just transcribe and tweak - If I look at the poem now I think it stands for all innocents that can be overwhelmed, subjugated and 'ruined' in spirit by those that have no standing to do so, but the power to accomplish their nefarious ends. I stared at the words again after this and wrote the second - only keeping in mind a more positive thought and the two lovers appeared. So it goes. To one and all thank you, I will visit you, and wish all a HAPPY HEALTHY PEACEFUL NEW YEAR!ReplyDelete
Yoiks, kiddo. Horrible invasion of childhood innocence by a predator. It takes courage to shine the light of day on this topic - and it needs light, so badly.ReplyDelete
Thank you for stopping by Sherry and yes, this horrendous topic does need illumination along with all the many other subjugations of innocents by those in power which this poem can be seen to represent. :)Delete
Too sad and real. Good work, Pearl. Both leave me spent in the horror that words can bring to life.ReplyDelete
Terrific writing though the subject matter is a difficult one ~ReplyDelete
Wishing you Happy New Year ~
Excellent take on a world gone bad...it does, yes, happen and you played it right.ReplyDelete
Excellent take on a world gone bad...it happens, yes, and you played it well here.ReplyDelete
yikes...creepy. not sure what to say, since 'hey, great poem!' wouldn't be appropriate to the subject matter...you know what I'm getting at, so I'll just leave it there. : )ReplyDelete
Both brilliant pieces of horrific subject matter. Very well written.ReplyDelete
this is well written, but so painful... still such violent realities (even when invented through wordle) must be shared and faced.ReplyDelete