Rat Run
I wake in a whirl
terror thrums throughout
my veins – thoughts run
rampant and distill - from
the world ravaged, to
warring atrocities, to
political immorality –
on and on and on
running this rampant
rat in my cranium
racing backwards to
historical horror and
finally clawing with
tiny razor talons into
the undeniable future
terror thrums throughout-
mental illness? – this anxiety,
this terror of tomorrow? –
Perhaps, more than a small dose –
Perhaps more an
overdose of reality -
Reality streaming, screaming
in years that will not be
denied, nor distracted,
nor substracted, -
If I place my years upon any
object, take your pick –
I shall gasp at its fortitude –
call it by its righteous name-
Old – If I place my years upon
a sentient creature I shall bring
it a chair – if an object I shall
handle with cautious care –
and all the grand and undeniable
sing operatically, discordantly,
chaotically, in deafening cacophony
as the rat runs rampant raging nonsense-
nibbling – gnawing, obsessing over
this or that - a new phone –
a color choice – a letter to be written
or sent – the roundness of a belly once flat –
errant hairs sprouting indignity in my nose –
I breathe – Slow inhales to counts of three of four,
Long exhales to counts of four or six or....
and then ...
For an instant the rat stops
scurrying - the morning is at
peace – Sun streams newly
risen bright on my white duvet -
I snuggle in the sheets and think
They say we come from stardust
and I beg that it shall be to
stardust I shall return- a bright speck
over the ocean of time – sparkling
ever more.
For now I pull the covers
around my shoulders and exhale
into the brief ceasefire of shudder –
having fed the rat well and full.
The sea, the song of seagulls,
The whoosh of chilled seagrass –
The glorious transformed sand shimmers,
languorously stretches opened arms to me.
Beckoning
Rise
Come
Cleansed
Simply
Be.
