Watched
They are here not with
kitchy wispy filaments of
wings strumming harps
Rather they are in the
breeze-brush against my
cheek, the stir of the wind
blowing hair stinging eyes,
insinuating themselves
down into my swallowing
gullet – prompting a brief
instant of heart-stopping
breathlessness – a sudden
choking cough –
they are here -
Turning my head,
Opening my eyes,
Parting my lips to speak
in their place as I live this
life of mine – Memoir and
memorial - so theirs will
not have passed in vain
They are watching –
I feel a grandmother’s
nod, a father’s laugh, an
unborn baby’s raw cry
admonishing me forward
to live
plunging hands hard
deep down elbowed
into pungent loam un-
til blossoms burst
a-new …
again
legacy
lives
on







sit in this gaping gawping abyss-me
I set down the shovel and surrender
the need to dump sweet dirt into the
open grave of my soul opened in fear
I confront the chill that rises within to
Ice my fingertips growling from my gut
shiver-shaking – in senseless direction-
less frantic wanting – I am through with
waiting and wandering – wondering and
pondering the hole with which I arrived
and cease mistaking a microscopic chaos-
chasm for an agony to be filled with things
and people and accomplishment and sweet
satiation and come to see the sacred slit of
a Some-time Universe sparkling in a future day
when I shall fall into and through this emptiness-
this exit of my soul – until that day I will try with
each fibre of my being to hold this place safe and
open and turn my head from the striving to fill a place
meant to remain a space free and open and in-awaiting
for that final day when I will fall back into the me-my-self
fall back with loose limbed lovely lassitude – fall back into
eternal softness- finally ready to soar – finally soaring – to
the Source of the I Am that I am only in final and fearless
surrender.