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| Stormy Sky by Laurie Williams |
Under the thunderous sky
“Look Mommy
raindrop messages
I can count them!"
and face shining
he ennunciatedly began
one – two - three –“
on and on and on
as the rain beat down
Until finally somewhere
around thirty-three
He, in his nails on-blackboard-voice
screeched
in irrelevant
pride
moon face grinning
"A gazillion thousand”
Stupid, little slurper
inhaling his canned soup
She squinted
Squeezing the dishrag
Wringing the front
of her dressing gown
Across the table
from sunny boy
Sitting straight
In front of
the darkening
window in the warm
kitchen with
too little air
holding her rage like
a wild taloned bird
wings banging ribs
Smiling sweetly
nodding,
acting
acting
stutter-stepping
this maddening
mother -hood
choking -blinding
Capricious charm
murderously pulsed
across that table
as lightning split the room
and he - tiny boy
dropped his spoon
and broke her last straw
You have captured the feeling of anger held inside, Pearl. I do think most mothers would be able to identify!!
ReplyDeleteYipes! Hope the sunny boy avoided those talons!
ReplyDeleteA child doing only what he knows best-testing his mother's patience. I hope it didn't end too badly for him!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mary, Pearl. Maybe she should go and scream in a pillow rather than take it out on him, though.
ReplyDeleteEdited it a bit -0n my teeny phone screen -she is meant to be far more monstrous than simply peeved - thanks Laurie :)
DeleteThis kind of anger is so scary--for both the mother and the child--you capture it so well here
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic the use of alliteration really gives you the feeling of jarred nerves. I have a five year old daughter so I know as adorable as they are they make you want to pull out your hair sometimes too lol
ReplyDeleteI am
http://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/
Holy buckets, she is monstrous. Well done, Pearl. That kind of rage is all too often directed against children. Love. is. all. we. need. :)
ReplyDeleteSunny on the outside - seething on the inside - hope those talons are only from her imagination!
ReplyDeleteHI, Pearl.
ReplyDeleteYou create an ominous scene while building the tension. Very scary stuff!
Yes, I felt for the sunny little boy, too, as children can sense that withheld anger. You captured it exactly. He soon would lose his sunniness, sadly.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tale of simmering rage here. Scary.
ReplyDeleteI think many mothers would have felt this some time in their child rearing. Fathers stand back almost aghast at the emotions unleashed when the need of the child affects their spouse. Love usually wins through though. A powerful piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteHeavens! Not exactly an advert for mother love...
ReplyDeleteMethinks 'he enunciatedly began' would read better as simply 'he enunciated'... or at a push, 'he began enunciating'
I doubt whether you'd find your 'enunciatedly' in any dictionary...
Haha Jinksy - I know for certain that I would not find enunciatedly in any dictionary - as a former teacher of English I suppose I delight in creating words that dance outside such rule-bound books :). However, will take another look at see how this reads - thanks for stopping by :)
DeleteUnderstand the tumult, Pearl. Well written, capturing the angst and frustration clearly. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteGosh, scary stuff! And well worth writing. Suggestion: you could say, 'he began enunciating'.
ReplyDeleteWow, I feel that anger!
ReplyDeleteStrong write of the rage of the sometimes confining nature of motherhood...
ReplyDelete(Poetic licence allows 'ennunciatedly'- long live poetic licence!)
Anna :o]
haha Thanks Anna - I thought I had renewed my (poetic) license :)
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