Thursday, August 12, 2010

As I Was Saying About The Birds and the Bees

As I was saying
about the birds and the bee
No! I don't know why they picked a bird and a bee
Could you please just listen, just listen to me
Yes! I am going to tell you
where from babies come
I don't know why I said anything about birds
or bees ... Maybe that was just silly or dumb....

Okay we'll start again from the top
when you asked me where babies come from
First there's an egg..
No! Not scrambled or fried!
Not that kind of egg and No! No! And
no!, I have not to you lied!

I am trying to tell you the best way that I can...
Yes... You have a good point there...
Maybe start first with a woman
and then a man.

Okay!... I am starting ... Off now we go
No! The man doesn't get bee stung! No! No! And no!
Didn't I just back there agree
That this hadn't really anything to do with a bird or a bee
As I was saying.... If you'd just please, please listen to me
What?! What is that?
What was that you just said?
You already heard a weird story?
From young Uncle Ted

He said that a man put his what
in a where?!
And what did you say?! just didn t care?
Yes that is a weird story of course I agree!
Yes! It is much weirder than a bird or a bee!

As I was saying..
What?... You'd rather go out and play?
Okay then....Sure!! As I was saying
We can do this on any old day....


  1. Too funny! I felt nervous just reading this! :)

    ~ Colette D

  2. This is an aboslute hoot, Pearl. I get the impression that the listener of this biologic explanation is about 6-7, maybe 8 at the most. And considering that some schools are going to begin sex-ed in first grade soon--Oh, Yes, they are.--the listener of this explanation might just be under five before long.

    This should go to a parenting mag for sure. Or a teacher's/school administrator's mag. There's definitely a market for something this timely and funny.

    Excellent job, girl.