In quiet desperation
the strangers did spin
to slouch in corners of
the cracked alley
cleansed of all hope
but for the faint sparkle
of fragmented granite,
cracked with the cheap
revolution of wasted
outrage
as ash
floated
from an endless
screw turning the
tide
The final image is outstanding! I'm glad you found us at the whirl.
ReplyDelete~Brenda
Thank you Brenda ...enjoyed the Sunday Whirl very much!
ReplyDeleteYou used the words wonderfully here ..
ReplyDeleteAwww thank you Deborah...heading over to you now.
ReplyDeletePowerful ending, Pearl.
ReplyDeleteNice and dark, Doc. Smooth with the wordle words.
ReplyDeleteI’m quietly laughing. This the first time I took the time to read your profile. Several times, in my blog, I’ve commented that a psychoanalyst could have a field day reading into the directions a poet takes a prompt. It has to be at least as revealing as a Rorschach test. Now, you and I both have written dark poems with thirteen-word prompts. It’s gotta mean something.
thanks laurie...I very much enjoy "whirling" going to visit you now!
ReplyDeleteLOL & Thanks Mike...just a first attempt...don't know what this says that this came in a few minutes at 2AM.... Mhmmm.. if I had a beard I'd stroke... but I'll keep the analysis for elsewhere and the enjoyment here... heading over to read your darkness now...
ReplyDeleteAn elegant and free flowing use of the wordle :) Beautifully done!
ReplyDeleteThank you Scribbler...I enjoyed your completely different format of this dark wordle...
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm glad you joined in the fun at The Sunday Whirl, Pearl. (Oh, now that has a nice sound to it!) I, too, was awake in the wee hours and couldn't resist the prompt. I had to write before putting my head on the pillow. Again...glad you gave it a whirl. ;) ~Paula
ReplyDeleteWow... so tight, concise, and powerful imagery.
ReplyDeleteVery nice read, thank you.
Great fun Paula....thanks for the tip-off!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you've joined us at the sunday whirl! I warn you it can get addictive. :-)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your piece and loved -
"the faint sparkle
of fragmented granite,
cracked with the cheap
revolution of wasted
outrage"
(also loved your comment to Mike - "if I had a beard I'd stroke.." that made me smile.)
Good to meet you. :-)
Susannah....thank you ...can already see where "the whirl" and "whirlers" are terrific fun!:)
ReplyDeleteI admire so much your economy of words: 13 wordles out of a total of 42, yet you still managed to make a coherent poem. Dark? Yes, but...
ReplyDeleteOh thanks Viv...I was trying to let the "words" be the poem as much as possible... :)
ReplyDelete'wasted outrage' - a sad and potent image.
ReplyDeleteHi Tilly, just visited you..thank you for the comment...so much appreciate when a specific image reaches someone. Thank you!
ReplyDelete"Cracked with the cheap revolution of wasted outrage" - what a great line! Welcome to the Whirl, Pearl. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Traci...for the welcome and the specificity of your comment...wow a "great line". I'll be floating on that one:) off to visit you in a few :)
ReplyDelete