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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wonder






Wonder *

She was just past three - she could remember that easily because it was AB - "after brother" - who was sleeping in a portable crib in the kitchen with her mother. She was sitting in the living room on the couch in the curve of her father's side - on the record player there were six small crimson records - Tchaikovsky's violin concerto - she sat with her eyes closed as the last record dropped feeling the music pound in her chest, her father's breathing a rough humid wind across the very top of her head. They sat together held in the bubble of sound and breath. She kept her eyes closed as he had asked her to do and let herself feel. She never knew what caused her to break that promise and at the very climatic crescendo of the violin reaching beyond the orchestra into a whirl of crimson passion she opened her eyes. Just for a moment. Just long enough to see a single tear making its way slowly down her father's cheek. She watched this single tear holding an entire concerto that she knew would play on for a life-time.






*This little flash of fiction was written quickly for De Jackson's Sunday Prompt at Flashy Fiction (http://flashyfiction.blogspot.com/2012/10/wonder.html) which is a great deal of fun ... always... This week the prompt was as the little piece is titled "Wonder" and the motivation written by De was as follows: 
Remember that wheeeeeee! feeling of experiencing something thrilling for the very first time? That wow of discovery? The whoa! of wonder, as nature reveals something so strange, or beautiful, it takes your breath away? Recapture one of those moments now, and pay careful attention to perspective and voice. Who is being wooed by wonder? How old is he/she? Who else is in the scene? And what happens next? 

2 comments:

  1. One of the things I noticed that I really enjoy about this story is the minimal punctuation. Your words flows out as smoothly as the music. Then that short sentence pops in, "Just for a moment," in the way the music has reached its crescendo. Perfectly placed. Nice!

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    1. Aw thank you LInda. Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a heart-swelling comment :)

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