Rat Run

 

Rat Run  

 

I wake in a whirl

terror thrums throughout

my veins – thoughts run

rampant and distill - from

the world ravaged, to

warring atrocities, to 

political immorality – 

on and on and on 

running this rampant

rat in my cranium 

racing backwards to

historical horror and

finally clawing with 

tiny razor talons into

the undeniable future

terror thrums throughout-

mental illness? – this anxiety,

this terror of tomorrow? – 

Perhaps, more than a small dose – 

Perhaps more an 

overdose of reality - 

Reality streaming, screaming

in years that will not be

denied, nor distracted,

nor substracted, - 

If I place my years upon any

object, take your pick – 

I shall gasp at its fortitude –

call it by its righteous name- 

Old – If I place my years upon

a sentient creature I shall bring

it a chair – if an object I shall 

handle with cautious care – 

and all the grand and undeniable

sing operatically, discordantly, 

chaotically, in deafening cacophony

as the rat runs rampant raging nonsense-

nibbling – gnawing, obsessing over 

this or that - a new phone – 

a color choice – a letter to be written 

or sent – the roundness of a belly once flat – 

errant hairs sprouting indignity in my nose –

I breathe – Slow inhales to counts of three of four,

Long exhales to counts of four or six or.... 

and then ...

 

For an instant the rat stops

scurrying - the morning is at

peace – Sun streams newly 

risen bright on my white duvet -

I snuggle in the sheets and think

 

They say we come from stardust

and I beg that it shall be to 

stardust I shall return- a bright speck

over the ocean of time – sparkling 

ever more.  

 

For now I pull the covers

around my shoulders and exhale

into the brief ceasefire of shudder –

having fed the rat well and full.  

The sea, the song of seagulls, 

The whoosh of chilled seagrass – 

The glorious transformed sand shimmers, 

languorously stretches opened arms to me.

Beckoning

Rise

Come

Cleansed 

Simply

Be.