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Sunday, November 18, 2012

Unless





He turned a silent sorry falling
from the place it should belong
trembling before the down turned faces 
Of the beauty of sisters - the sweet round balloon
of his being now with a startling pop
Bust
Wrong

He was wrong 
his hand in that proverbial
cookie jar pilfering their savings 
in the deepest dark

until like the first dawn of the first fire
he was illuminated in beam of their
now dispossessed pride 
And he
a small boy
lips trembling 
in terror of their abandonment

Stared at the pawn ticket of their trust
Pleading forgiveness in a simple suggested
Unless 


22 comments:

  1. Oh my!! Pearl...your last stanza with that dangling "unless," love it!! Great write!!

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  2. Awww thank you Hannah - I had a little trouble with this one - I am delighted that you enjoyed:)

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  4. Awww... I'm glad he saw the error of his ways. Hope he wasn't abandoned by them and that they redeem the pawn ticket.
    Really enjoyed this and yes, the final 'unless' ends it perfectly on a ... what happens next?

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  5. Oops, he got caught.....but a bit too late. I like the ending 'unless' which makes the reader ponder what then........ Well wordled.

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  6. I am amazed at your facility in using all of the prompt words to create such a wonderful poem. I loved "the sweet round balloon of his being"
    I must try this type of prompt. Where did this group of words come from?

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  7. Beautifully written, Pearl. The small boy is a strong image, lips trembling....

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  8. Whoa... that ending does make me wonder.. I know I'm not the first to say it, and I doubt I'll be the last either, because that was quite unexpected, and it worked. :) Lovely.

    er.. Sunday Whirl, Dr. Pearl? ;)

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  9. Very interesting tale you tell, just enough details to keep the reader in place, wondering, yet vivid enough to create images in the mind.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/11/18/burnt-sacrifice/

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  10. "stared at the pawn ticket of their trust".....great line.

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  11. Yes, an interesting back-story there. Actually, you could expand this into a longer piece. A treat to peek into your imagination!

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  12. I especially like your first four lines.

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  13. Really good, and I especially loved this phrase: "pawn ticket of their trust."

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  14. What an interesting take on the prompt! I read it several times to fully taste it :-)

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  15. oh, I hope they can forgive him what he's done!

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  16. Dr. P Very mysterious and beautifully written.

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  17. Enjoyed your poem! The ending keeps me thinking of all different outcomes!

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