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Saturday, January 19, 2013

The Red Egg



The Red Egg

In her charge given
The bone china lucky egg
Wrapped in linen
Instructed to deliver soft knocks
Call upon the ancient man up
The steep stairs waiting for New Year
And respect
Beware the dog barking at the entrance
Lose not the charge given into her keeping
More fragile than pearls strung on air
Run between raindrops holding that precious parcel
Beware the slip of small feet on sliding pavement
Hear the dog growl, see the parcel drop,
Shudder as the china knocks-to-shattered
Shards on pavement and
Filaments of coming disaster
Float before eyes as her
Sticky hope clings to a single
Vanishing cell of possible reprieve  




22 comments:

  1. Nicely done - I am still dging around this wordle, looking for a way in.

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  2. Responsibility is a tough lesson to learn!

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  3. Great power in these words. Enjoyed them.

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  4. Some great lines and images in this. One of the best:-

    Beware the slip of small feet on sliding pavement

    think you'd have to go a log way to better it.

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  5. I could feel myself cringing at the thought of the egg dropping and breaking china!

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  6. This is quite a tale, Pearl. Your lines read quick and choppy... several could be fortunes from a cookie. Bad fortune for the courier. Thank you for the characters you bring to our stage. They are rich and varied.

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  7. Yikes! What a horrible thing to happen. Both the one in charge of the egg and the one to whom it was to be delivered must be devastated.

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  8. We each must drop a treasure or two before we learn the importance of holding on gently, yet firmly.
    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/01/17/glow/

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  9. I picture a small girl here, so carefully on her mission, then the horror when the worst happens. And fear she will be scolded. The growling dog would intimidate someone much bigger. Poor child!

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  10. Wow... I was so hoping it wouldn't break... but that's the way my wishful thinking intrudes... love the ending

    Float before eyes as her
    Sticky hope clings to a single
    Vanishing cell of possible reprieve

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  11. I can feel the anxiety as the egg plummets to the sidewalk. I loved this line:

    "More fragile than pearls strung on air" Truly breathtaking!!!

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  12. A good story, building suspense - Oh, No! great ending.

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  13. Oh my, Pearl! I think I actually gasped. :)

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  14. a lovely line this "More fragile than pearls strung on air"

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  15. Oh, my. I felt like I was carrying the egg, too, as I read this poem. Great job on getting the reader involved and I was so dissapointed she didn't make it. So true to life sometimes.

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  16. Excellent story poem...it builds and builds and comes full circle with hope in the face of shattered portent.

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  17. So beautifully told, and the tension as fine as a taut invisible wire - I too love the line, "more fragile than pearls strung on air" among many others

    http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2013/01/pearls-candles-and-prayers.html

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  18. Such inventiveness! You've turned the prompt into an enthralling story.

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  19. what a nightmare todrop such beauty

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  20. Aw guys - was a little under the weather - feeling a bit better tonight and now seeing all these lovely comments smiling my way to snuggle under the covers. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So appreciate you all stopping by - so delighted you enjoyed :) Thank you!

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