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Sunday, January 6, 2013

awake

Starry Night by Vera Kratochvil







awake


"awake, listen," she whispered
in giddy-voice her
very breath spilling
a tumult venture
dragging them by an
arm or leg toward a bitter
venture with a step rank
with practice
"awake, listen" she whispered
eyes glitter burning fire-
clarity solely within,
as two
small children involitionally
stumbled, barefoot
out into the starlit night 





22 comments:

  1. I'm awake, and listening... and it's sounding good!

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  2. I have been there many nights. I love the starry night.

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  3. what a gorgeous word: involitionally

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  4. Replies
    1. Ahh ... Ye thinks well, Thsnks for stopping :)

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    2. Whoops... I meant Thanks... who knows what Thsnks means :)

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  5. Okay, I just added a couple of words to this poem ... "eyes GLITTER burning" and "clarity SOLELY" within... as it seemed most readers were seeing this with quite a different tone..

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  6. Me thinks there is a threat in this starry night (bitter venture)and those children are not eager to partake in rank practice.

    Elizabeth

    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/01/06/living-lesson/

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  7. Your piece evokes that night time -stirred awake feeling. Trying to listen through all that darkness.

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  8. I love the excitement of this, the exuberance of being in the moment and how resistant and lack luster the children are, barely awake in the midst of the action.
    Just exquisite!

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  9. Me also thinks watch out kiddies! Nicely understated.

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  10. Those children sound very vulnerable. I see the beauty of the sky, yet worry about the little ones.

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  11. Watch out kidlets--the night may be more than it seems!

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  12. And I can see them stumble, hear their feet and giggles. And I like it.

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  13. yup. watch out! but love the sky...I wonder of the dangers that await, and hope the woman bodes well.

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  14. so lovely - reminds me both of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" and the song written about it, "Vincent" by Don McLean (sp?)

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    1. That's quite a compliment. M'dear ...floating off to bed now .... Thsnk you :)

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  15. I can almost see a story starting - children woken perhaps on a trip in the Underground Railroad - escaping into the night and into freedom.

    Could be just stare gazing :)

    Thanks for your visit.

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  16. Wonderful, almost magic! I like the repetition of the "Awake. Listen" mantra and the final line. <3

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