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Saturday, October 4, 2014

vital signs






vital signs

she lies within tight white sheets
her sense of self strewn in strips
of paper connected to her name
printed on a wristband,  broken
sharded-self smashed as crystal
goblets sparkling in the sun - life
recorded in blind-blipping-beeps
silent speech melting into
a poem moving toward  this
uncertain-unclear-unwritten

49 comments:

  1. silent speech does indeed sometimes melt into a poem speaking of shattered life...poignant lines...

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    1. Oh thank you Sumana - so very much appreciate your careful reading and enjoyment of their poignancy.

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  2. One good thing about hospitals is coming out the exit doors...alive.

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    1. Ah yes. Short and to the point. So very much appreciated.

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  4. oh i hope that she finds the strength to recover again...

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    1. I am delighted that the character in the poem resonated with you enough to wish her well :)

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  5. I can feel this...every beep...every sensation of that strange sheet and hands touching your body...not quite awake..not quite gone..exquisitely written

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    1. Oh Jae "exquisitely written" how lovely - and your careful reflection of feelings raised - so very very much appreciated.

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    1. Ah Vandana - and so it goes - or not the ending here may be unclear and uncertain. Appreciate your reading and commenting . Thank you.

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  7. Sad when one's sense of self becomes the information on a wristband & the only signs of life are the blipping of the machine. And one wonders, at the end, is that all there is? Is this where life ends....for all?

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  8. I like how it all forms into a poem...a wide open poem.

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    1. So very much appreciated - Enjoyed your intepretation of how the poem opened up.

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  9. This is sad, reaching the end hanging on with each recorded beep into the unknown. Hope she makes it through..

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    1. Thank you for your comment- I enjoyed your interpretation of the beeps moving into the unknown

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  10. How sad when a person's life seems to be summarized in medical terms only: the strip on one's wrist and the beeps of the machine they are linked to. Hopefully in the end, she will be remembered for far more by the ones she knew.

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    1. I appreciate your stopping and reflecting the loss of identity reflected in the poem.

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  11. the description grabs attention, especially first two lines are interesting....loved that image.

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    1. Thank you so very muc Natasa - I am delighted that the poem grabbed you at the outset :)

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  12. defined by a treatment, or the disease...where we all hope to never be...

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    1. Yes, precisely - the chilling notion of being so reduced. Thank you.

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  13. The very last word--end--is so startling!

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and commenting - perhaps the end is uncertain and unclear or as startling as you interpreted - Much appreciated

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  14. There seemed to be some hope of recovery until that last line.. I could almost here the beep of machines measuring the end of a beating heart.

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    1. Thank you Bjorn - I am delighted that you were drawn into the poem and who knows perhaps the end is still unclear and uncertain...

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  15. This is very gripping. One can feel the "broken sharded-self" . The ending is stark. So well done.

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    1. Thank you Sherry - we so often seem to be on the same wave-length wherever that vibrates :)

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  16. Wow! This one hits very close to home. My former husband coded three times before they shut off the machines last week. Incredible writing...

    Elizabeth

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    1. Oh my Elizabeth- thank you so very much for stopping and commenting - it is alway so very important when writing to know and respect the experiences of readers. I was deeply moved by your comment and wish you well.

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  17. I love the double meaning of your ending, Pearl. Brilliant!

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    1. Ah Brenda - thank you for stopping by and a world of thanks for the worlds that the wordle words inspire :)

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  18. Nice! Unique travel through uncertainty in the flow of your words. Bravo!
    ZQ

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    1. Oh my R.K. - I am honored to receive a "Bravo!" from you :)

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  19. Powerful, Pearl. I savor every word of this poem, nodding. Yes, I know, and you captured it beautifully.

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    1. Oh Nurit - I am so deeply appreciative that you found power in this poem. Thank you.

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  20. Oh, it is clever use of words....and the meaning of each life - the whole poem!

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    1. Thanks humbird - appreciate your stopping by and delighted that you enjoyed the poem

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  21. that last line is quite powerful, a perfect ending to the chaos before it!

    stacy lynn mar
    http://warningthestars.blogspot.com/2014/10/saturday-prompt-2-starry-skies-and.html

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    1. Thank you Stacy appreciate your stopping and your specific comment :)

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  22. It feels like a mind lost in a hospital. A great poem.

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  23. feels so medical and in a hospital setting. although there is a deeper meaning to it which I could relate. wonderful!!!

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  24. Right from the title to the end (where you strategically placed the word 'end' for such powerful emphasis), this is deeply poignant.

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  25. This was tightly written, heartfelt, and lovely.

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  26. Love it when a poem leaving you guessing at the end. Oh I'm the one hoping she is in a better place than that bed.

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  27. Beautiful powerful words. So much said, in so succinctly. I hope she makes it, Pearl. LHN

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  28. Oh my, hard-hitting; so well written I'm a bit envious.

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