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Saturday, October 10, 2015

the thrum of new-born mum




the thrum of new-born mum 

There it was that thrum - like traffic clanging 
each cell - blood running hot - feet slipping on
the chill floor taking the risk of a trip-fall on the
steps down the hall to get to that screaming baby - 
They said it was only a matter of time-a short time
until the letters of her fractured-formerly-lyrical life
fell together again link by link - until her milk came 
in - let down - arrived.  But there it was - that thrum - 
paired with that minute relentless, relentless evil urge 
to hold the squirming thing to her bleeding breast until -
Source-of -All-save-her-she suffocated its screaming for-
ever -  In the watery predawn dim she sat in the rocker - 
off her rocker -untappable tears streaming rivulets down
her sagging-unshowered sallow cheeks and waited, alone 
for the courage to continue - to somehow finally-
find that sweet spot of maternal rhythym-singing
beneath that thrum - that thrum - that thrum …. 


~


The Sunday Whirl
gentle end-note here : my personal experience with motherhood was quite the opposite - however I have come to know many young mothers who suffer challenging beginnings as well as the experience of disappointment - hope and reaching for courage as metaphoric in a world that is not always as kind and flowing with mothers' milk as we might all wish. 

21 comments:

  1. What a deeply moving piece of one of the problems of maternity and coping with the vagaries of the body's reluctance to play its part. As a mere impotent male I saw my own wife's anguish until that blessed day when the milk (and a honey temper) started flowing again.

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  2. I am not a mother and yet this still resonated - a truly honest and inspired poem - i can't imagine the weight of such responsibility..the demands it places on your physical and emotional resources - perhaps it is what many women feel and perhaps they should not feel bad about that?

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  3. That's an intriguing poem...very well executed.

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  4. A heartfelt urgency comes through in this. Stunning.

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  5. "sweet spot of maternal rhythm" beautifully expressed...

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  6. Oh this is almost painful to read. It sounds like the mother is almost at the end of her rope....tired and frustrated. I hope that both she and the baby will be okay.

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  7. I have read about the ordeal of being a mother.. of the guilt of not always loving the screaming baby.. that depression I think might be more common than we might think.

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  8. Post-natal depression, coupled with the unmitigated pressure from outsiders that all mothers must breast feed may give rise to the most awful sense of failure one ever experiences in life. This poem must certainly resonate with every mother: one understands the situation even if one never had it so bad.

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  9. Oh my heart ached as I have known many a new mother who has felt like this.

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  10. The honesty of naming this reality, which everyone is afraid to speak of.....post partum depression........when the picture is supposed to be everyone smiling beatifically........an honest write, Pearl. Young moms need support, understanding - and to be encouraged that things will get very much smoother in a while.

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  11. Where is that fairy godmother when you really need her? Perhaps riding in a pumpkin coach, clutching her wand like a crying child unable to be calmed. Vivid and deeply heart-felt Pearl.

    Elizabeth

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  12. Oh, show her how to find it! How powerfully do you reveal her state of mind. When things get desperate, thrumming is relentless!~

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  13. I know clinically of post partum depression. This poem truly makes me glad I was never a mother the guilt, the desperation, the helplessness. An excellent write. Hayes Spencer is Kanzensakura

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  14. Well described. It's the 'alone' that is so scary, to an inexperienced young mum. Not that I went through this exacty, but I did feel inept in the beginning.

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  15. Post-natal depression can be a destroyer, but with treatment can be vanquished. A well-written but terrifying wordle poem

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  16. As a mother I've been here ... and thankfully I passed through these dark moments, nearly forgetting them, until I read a post like this ... lovely poem, very moving! Bastet

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  17. The stress that comes from not being given all the information, like the fact that some women can't breastfeed, can cause some issues.

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  18. My sis-in-law suffered puerperal psychosis after the birth of her third child - but went on to have four more lovely sons and daughters. Some twenty years later, mental ill-health stays with her.
    Anna

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