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Saturday, May 4, 2013

Under the thunderous sky



Stormy Sky by Laurie Williams




Under the thunderous sky


“Look Mommy 

raindrop messages
I can count them!"
and face shining 
he ennunciatedly began 
one – two - three –“
on and on and on
as the rain beat down 
Until finally somewhere
around thirty-three 
He, in his nails on-blackboard-voice
screeched 
in irrelevant 
pride
moon face grinning 

"A gazillion thousand”
Stupid, little slurper
inhaling his canned soup
She squinted 
Squeezing the dishrag
Wringing the front
of her dressing gown
Across the table 
from sunny boy
Sitting straight
In front of 
the darkening
window in the warm 
kitchen with
too little air
holding her rage like
a wild taloned bird
wings banging ribs

Smiling sweetly
nodding,
acting 
acting
 stutter-stepping
this maddening
mother -hood
choking -blinding

Capricious charm
murderously pulsed 
across that table
as lightning split the room
and he - tiny boy
dropped his spoon
and broke her last straw

20 comments:

  1. You have captured the feeling of anger held inside, Pearl. I do think most mothers would be able to identify!!

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  2. Yipes! Hope the sunny boy avoided those talons!

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  3. A child doing only what he knows best-testing his mother's patience. I hope it didn't end too badly for him!

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  4. I agree with Mary, Pearl. Maybe she should go and scream in a pillow rather than take it out on him, though.

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    1. Edited it a bit -0n my teeny phone screen -she is meant to be far more monstrous than simply peeved - thanks Laurie :)

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  5. This kind of anger is so scary--for both the mother and the child--you capture it so well here

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  6. This is fantastic the use of alliteration really gives you the feeling of jarred nerves. I have a five year old daughter so I know as adorable as they are they make you want to pull out your hair sometimes too lol

    I am
    http://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/

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  7. Holy buckets, she is monstrous. Well done, Pearl. That kind of rage is all too often directed against children. Love. is. all. we. need. :)

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  8. Sunny on the outside - seething on the inside - hope those talons are only from her imagination!

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  9. HI, Pearl.
    You create an ominous scene while building the tension. Very scary stuff!

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  10. Yes, I felt for the sunny little boy, too, as children can sense that withheld anger. You captured it exactly. He soon would lose his sunniness, sadly.

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  11. What a tale of simmering rage here. Scary.

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  12. I think many mothers would have felt this some time in their child rearing. Fathers stand back almost aghast at the emotions unleashed when the need of the child affects their spouse. Love usually wins through though. A powerful piece of writing.

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  13. Heavens! Not exactly an advert for mother love...

    Methinks 'he enunciatedly began' would read better as simply 'he enunciated'... or at a push, 'he began enunciating'

    I doubt whether you'd find your 'enunciatedly' in any dictionary...

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    1. Haha Jinksy - I know for certain that I would not find enunciatedly in any dictionary - as a former teacher of English I suppose I delight in creating words that dance outside such rule-bound books :). However, will take another look at see how this reads - thanks for stopping by :)

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  14. Understand the tumult, Pearl. Well written, capturing the angst and frustration clearly. Thanks.

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  15. Gosh, scary stuff! And well worth writing. Suggestion: you could say, 'he began enunciating'.

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  16. Strong write of the rage of the sometimes confining nature of motherhood...

    (Poetic licence allows 'ennunciatedly'- long live poetic licence!)

    Anna :o]

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    1. haha Thanks Anna - I thought I had renewed my (poetic) license :)

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