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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Deflowered






Deflowered 

She was on top
Perched on tiptoe 
Pressed face on milky 
Window
The old woman's secrets
Unfolded in the dim
Golden light 
She was on top 
On seven year old tiptoes
Perched precariously
The itch to know the
White haired crone
Who planted daisies 
Among the rushes 
Threaded violets 
through snow covered branches
This secreted apparition brought
To visibility

Her child's curiosity now
A lighten-burden smiling
The itch scratched a sigh
On her lips sweet, she stared
As her brother holding the
Ladder slicks back his hair

And with a crash certain 
To blast the old wondrous 
woman's sanctity 
The child falls 
With a listen for the inevitable 
Tragic end of carefully constructed
Consecrated magic




15 comments:

  1. This reminds me of those dares and double dare backs of childhood - by peers you thought were friends but really weren't.
    "You go ring the old man's door bell and then run!"
    Things of that nature.

    And yet those older folks just really wanted someone to sit with them and share their stories and baked goods...

    I've two this week.
    I'll offer up in a link the non-story which is sort of a story too (but Mr. Linky or the Whirl comments section or even if you are on the blog you should be able to get to the Story Verse piece).

    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/12/sunday-whirl-87-non-story-life-well.html


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  2. A child's wonder, precious, careful to hold.

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  3. We are such delicate creatures! How have we managed to survive this long and still hold on to beauty?

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  4. I felt a strong sense of the story here, secrets and drama and sadness: you paint a moving picture.

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  5. A beautiful story poem which has enriched my Sunday. Thanks.

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  6. A Deliciously edgy fairy tale. Divine!

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  7. This takes me back to childhood, and our curiosity. But yikes! the fall must have hurt.

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  8. The layers of meaning I detect here are somewhat disturbing, not unlike the tales of old.

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  9. There do seem to be many layers, some magical, to this tale--really well crafted piece!

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  10. Yes I think Kim has it.

    A tragic ending.

    JzB

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  11. And they say women are vain... To think that it took a Brylcream boy to upset your sweet heroine!
    Lovely poem.

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  12. the imaginings of curious children... I think this is the magic of the world.

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  13. nice imagery - I like the white haired crone planting daisies among the rushes, and threading violets through snow covered branches!

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  14. A whimsical portrait of childhood. Thanks. :)

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  15. Cool tale, with a wonderful ending!

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