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Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Sunday Whirl - Wordle 20 - In Darkness


At a slow crawl, there, pallid women
quivering under choker studded boys
claw toward hoped for hordes of help
spread there on pavemented  rack
as leathered boy-men hitch up pants
elbow each other at their 'goof' and
return raucously reeling  to the bar
while they lay, fractured-winged birdlike
waiting for sun rayed blooms

9 comments:

  1. Oh Pearl, this one is heart breaking. Well done, but sad.

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  2. Aw thank you Brenda... I did think it was sad myself.
    The wordles are terrific word associations that fall into a scene... Enjoying them tremendously :)

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  3. Very nicely done, Pearl, but very sad as well.

    Pamela

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  4. maximum impact from a minimum of words.

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  5. Harsh and rowdy situation but sad for respectable society to endure the pain of deteriorating teenagers!! Some bitter truths in your poem Doc!!

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  6. Thank you much Pamela...and Viv, I very much appreciate your comment, precisely my goal when "wordling". :)

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  7. What a horrible scene! Well written description of a nasty reality too many young women have endured. Makes me want to throw the lot of those boys in jail - no, make that under the jail.

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  8. Nanka... yep I think there was something about the indifference in today's society playing about the edges that spilled into those whirdle words...

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  9. Hi there Traci... Thank you ... for the smile picturing those created boys "under the jail"... I didn't much like them myself even as they began to take shape!

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