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Thursday, August 26, 2010

What? Ever....Never?

They sat there
side by side
in the fall sun
late day spilling
onto the papers
on the doctor's
shimmer polished
desk of cognitive
tests
They sat there only
as a favor to their
family's urging
his eyes drifting to
the billowing sails
of a model ship
wondering at the thousands
of tiny tied knots
she almost dozing
stroking the soft
silk fabric of the chair
in the office of the doctor
in the late afternoon sun
fall out the latticed windows
bright trees dropping leaves
lazy - and the light spilling
into the words drifting
over them as their child
lied quiet as was her nature
just her nature
quiet and limp limbed
still
across their laps
sweet drool sparkling in the
light as the doctor
delicately attempted
the first incision
of all possibility

Saturday, August 21, 2010

For Four- Year-Old Kaitlin

There can be
no words of comfort
for murdered Kaitlin
hair washed and
lovingly cleaned
dressed in crisp white
and arranged
fetchingly on
beloved pink sateen

There can be
no words of comfort
for Kaitlin pretty
under that small
shining white
casket lid

No comfort in the heaps of
blooms thrown in
helpless profusion
in the gaping hole
of what he did

There can be
no words of comfort
as Kaitlin in cruel irony
is returned back to
the black earth
where she was found

Her mother shivers
holding air
chilled by warm
words
as the tiny girl
is covered by the ground

Stone faced
at talk of
loving arm's
celestial embrace

No comfort for the
loved ones as they
lean one into the other
a mass of tangled
torment touching
among averted eyes
not one who can them face

Four- year- old Kaitlin
found sprawled kill raped still
in the damp wood
a child who would
have her peanut butter
sandwich made just
the way it should

Words of innocence
above that now covered casket
babble non-sense on
a ruffled breeze

Kaitlin last looked upon
the face of evil incomprehensible
etched into her eyes
with photographic ease

Rest sweet Kaitlin
perhaps for you this can be so
in the woods of your
death sweet jasmine may
inexplicably grow

Drift sweet Kaitlin tumbling
in the sparkled sunlight
on the soft wings of
white butterflies
take flight

There sweet Kaitlin one with
each petal, dancing dust mote
salted sea drop and all
known and more

Soar
sweet Kaitlin
embracing the ripped
grief-dumbed hearts left
forevermore

Friday, August 20, 2010

For Two

Of each
Dinner plates -largest 
Cups and saucers 
Dessert plates
Salad bowls
Soup bowls
Sit on crisp knife
Creased linen
Finally
Alone
Chosen carefully
With some tears
A raised voice
Now perfectly 
Positioned
Translucent 
Vulnerable
Never to be joined
By the other tens
Instead used 
In wonder and sacrament
Until consigned
To a top shelf to
Wait until the time
Is right
as other priorities arrive
One tumbling into the other
As dust finely gathers 
And a cup drops and shatters

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

With A Smile

(dedicated to all those who MUST work at what they must)

with a smile
as a tug pulls
just below
the loosened sash of her uniform
with a smile
as she brushes
a wayward grasping hand from
a place where it should not be
with a smile
as she returns an order
delivered as requested
with a smile
as the tug grabs her breath
shakes the coffee cups in her hand
sloshing just a bit and then subsiding
with a smile
as she turns
order in hand calls it in
and walks past to the Ladies'
as pain rolls through
and blood trails down her thighs
with a smile
after a half-hour break..
a little peaked she tightens her sash
and returns to the floor
Order Up
with a smile

Thursday, August 12, 2010

As I was saying.... A quaternesque....heard just about any night anywhere

As I was saying
you are just my type
do you come here often?
are you tired of hype?

You are just my type
As I was saying
And no I am not playing
I myself am tired of all the hype

Do you come here often? Why do I want to know?
Because I was hoping we could meet here and.....
As I was saying
You are my type and let's get up and go

Excuse me? You think that
I'm the one full of hype
And ...excuse me.... I am not at all your own type? Well...
As I was saying.....

(Epilogue... Huh? Where did you go?)

As I Was Saying About The Birds and the Bees

As I was saying
about the birds and the bee
No! I don't know why they picked a bird and a bee
Could you please just listen, just listen to me
Yes! I am going to tell you
where from babies come
I don't know why I said anything about birds
or bees ... Maybe that was just silly or dumb....

Okay we'll start again from the top
when you asked me where babies come from
First there's an egg..
No! Not scrambled or fried!
Not that kind of egg and No! No! And
no!, I have not to you lied!

I am trying to tell you the best way that I can...
Yes... You have a good point there...
Maybe start first with a woman
and then a man.

Okay!... I am starting ... Off now we go
No! The man doesn't get bee stung! No! No! And no!
Didn't I just back there agree
That this hadn't really anything to do with a bird or a bee
As I was saying.... If you'd just please, please listen to me
What?! What is that?
What was that you just said?
You already heard a weird story?
From young Uncle Ted

He said that a man put his what
in a where?!
And what did you say?!
Oh...you just didn t care?
Yes that is a weird story of course I agree!
Yes! It is much weirder than a bird or a bee!

As I was saying..
What?... You'd rather go out and play?
Okay then....Sure!! As I was saying
We can do this on any old day....

As I was saying.... I love you.....I do.....

As I was saying
I love you I do
When you threw your arms
Around my neck until I turned blue
As I was saying
I love you I do
then your eyes blazed so hotly
I thought I'd be burned clearly through
As I was saying .... please wait take a rest
There you went describing yourself wedding gown dressed
As I was saying
I love you I do
Now stop do nothing!....
Until I am through....
I love you as a puppy cuddly and sweet
I love you as the sister I never did meet
As I was saying if your time you would bide
I love you I love but NOT as my bride
If you would had just waited until I was done
All this unnecessary sobbing would never have ever begun....

The Children's Rebellion

We ll eat ice cream for breakfast
You cannot tell us no
We'll shake all the mirrors till
cracks in them grow
We'll smile and be sweet
when first us you do meet
Your nightmare will start
when our parents depart
We ve been waiting for years
saying thank you and please
setting up our rebellion
a four fisted hellion
You cannot tell us no
wherever we want we will go
and when they return we know it is true
No matter the damage they will not believe you!

Goodbye Dear Heart....I'm Not Keeping Yours With Me

"Pacify?" Dear heart?
as you turn to depart
My grievous error
Silence? When it could have been terror
"Pacify?" Dear heart?
Wait not for that, dear heart
As you with obnoxious
head shake and depart
Unscathed, now left, lucky
your head to body, unbloodied and uncleft
Yes, lucky dear heart
We are now apart
And you my dear it is true
Remain in one piece unharmed through

Baby Maybe?

How to avenge the
callous error
shake the words from
intrusive lips
asking, always asking .... "Baby?"
of the swollen belly
fat filled with sleepless nights
slaking the anguish of the
non fertile with the fullness
of food feeding
How to pacify the falling
tears melting
the mostly mastered
masquerade of acceptance
of what will never be
until screamed silence does depart

The Sea Behind Them Sparkled - A Wedding Quatern

The sea behind them sparkled
as they laughed into each others eyes
her veil blowing in the breeze
his hand reaching to smooth it back

speaking into each others eyes-tiny reminder papers held in hands
The sea behind them sparkled
turquoise waters suddenly a pale back drop as
the magic of their mutual possibility blazed believably

Steel pan player softly drummed and
there it was for those moments truly
The sea behind them sparkled
A Wonderful World

As four tiny flower girls freed of rose petals and responsibility danced barefooted
in the sand to the waters edge, hair twirling as rings glinted in the setting sun
and a first kiss lit the sky with love as
The sea behind them sparkled

Friday, August 6, 2010

My Unicorn Bride - Daughter of My Heart

It was August of the 6th  Two thousand and ten
And a new chapter of life's journey was about  to begin
The page turned softly in the warm fragrant air
Together they memorialized their love for each other along with their care

Yes, it  was august the 6th in the year of two thousand ten
Childhood memories swirled vividly about like a glimpse of yesterday 
On today.... this ....your wedding  day

Of unicorned satin tiny pillows 
strung with glittered stars 
from the ceiling on invisible thread
So when you woke in the morning they 
floated sparkling round your head

A smiling little girl quiet, .....yes quiet,....
powerfully resilient and certain strong 
Who sang always to the music 
of her own true compassed heart song

Father 's baby girl...    
to me birthed through the center of my heart
A different powerful love born of mutuality did impart

We laughed in hot chocolated winters and dreamed  of a day 
when from the cold and to the islands we would commandeer all and simply run away

Years have ribboned slowly through life up until the sweet night here.
When my sweet daughter of my  heart joins with her love  so dear

A perfect union of the woman  you 've become adventurous  spontaneous and free
I want you to know that ideally this IS the way
a mom and daughter run away to be

For each mom knows that the greatest love you can give
Is raising a daughter who embraces life in her own way to live!

And so I stand before you with a proverbial blessing on your smiling glowing  head
As you are now joined  in marriage in a love that stands primary above all others in their stead

Enjoy the memory making 
enjoy the laughter and the fun 
enjoy the hand that will be there to hold when all is just begun. 

Run in joy down through each day  and hold fast when day is done

For my little unicorn bride daughter of my heart
Take my love with you and your father's, your  brothers', sister-in-law, nieces' friends' and
of course new family too
love sealed and witnessed by us all at this the culmination of both of you
 
On this softest night of august 6th in the year two thousand and then ten ..
let the love sparkling brightly,
warm you always as hand in hand 
wife and husband you begin...

Off you go.....enjoy the ride!

We love you ....

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Shopping For Enlightenment

At the banquet table
laid sparkling with light
smile at the mother Mary
gentle with her child in star studded night
hear the echoes of Moses roaring at the sight
of those failing to constrain idolatry in the fire-light
turn in gentle karmic circles of lessons yet to learn
lessons that are yet unknown and things that come to be
the banquet table melting into the horizon blurred so suddenly
shopping for enlightenment, not lending to a cafeteria style take
knowing only tasting each and all does not a wholeness make
discerning a strong sense that this is not the way
yet the direction where the way is, not known for me to say
allow one to be filled with prismic rainbow light
bask in cleansing washed in synergetic strength in gentle might
absorbing the grand elegance of the natural from the smallest micro cell
to an entity or divinity, or a beingness, beyond human power to conceptualize and tell
the mystery and joyful held in the connection that unites the totality of the all
feeling oneness that weaves as on a loom forth and back from grandeur to the small
shopping for enlightenment the essence of the human story long continued to be told
ending always with the recognition that enlightenment cannot be bought, or taught, or sold

For Paul
In honor of his gentle understanding of many roads, means and ways, with best wishes for his continuing journey.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Basement

dangerous, dank and forbidden place,
cellar separate from the house, wooden doors painted green
the trick to pancake against the house far wall unseen
five year old body like quick silver slid,
strong enough to pull a heavy rope,
slowly, slowly to lift the door,
find the stairs long and longer more
courage tip-toed down alone,
the world outside a silent drone
hands at sides still brushed a web,
a shuddered scream held inside instead
in the basement a silky place of dead things held in abandoned hope,
a wooden chest,furniture never seen, a wire dressmaking model, and
like snakes about to sliver against a leg, more mysterious coils of rope,
there was a single window high and very small that
shone a thin light stream shiver upon an opposite wall
where in a corner closet there provisions
just in case our lives to spare
soup and beans, ketchup, all such common stuff
filled with pride in courage won turned having had enough
when in the glimmering dark appeared a suspended head,and grinning teeth, bulging eyes no body neath,set feet running up back above where the door slammed shut against the dead,
for surely that was all lounged there, death among things long dead
of the basement trip and revelation not a syllable was said
until years passed and someone asked
"whatever happened to that ugly Florida trip carved coconut head?"

The Basement

dangerous, dank forbidden cellar with wooden doors painted green
the trick to pancake against the house far wall unseen
five year old body like quick silver slid, pulled the heavy tie- rope,
lifted the door and the forbidden staircase appeared in a long down cement lope
tip-toed down those stairs alone,
the world outside a silent drone
hands at sides brushed a web,
shuddered a scream held inside instead
the basement a place of dead things held in abandoned hope,
unseen cast-offs amid more snaky coils of rope
a single slitted window shone - thin light flickering on a corner closet there,
filled with just-in-case provisions our lives to spare,
soup and beans, ketchup, all such common stuff,
breathed a sigh, courage filled, turned having had enough,
when in the glimmering dark appeared a suspended head, grinning teeth,
bulging eyes and no body neath,
set small feet running back up above to slam the door against the dead,
not recognizing until basement cleaning decades later when a relative rhetorically said
I always wondered what ever did happen to that ugly Florida trip carved coconut head.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Visions - Visionary

some endure visions
where others
are visionary
...
the challenge always
to know the
difference between

The Basement

dangerous, dank forbidden cellar
with wooden doors painted green
the trick to pancake against the house far wall unseen
five year old body like quick silver slid,
pulled the heavy, heavy rope,
to lift the door and find forbidden stairs longer more
tip-toed down alone, the world outside a silent drone
hands at sides brushed a web,
shuddered a scream held inside instead
the basement a place of dead things held in abandoned hope,
assorted things never seen, amid like snakes more coils of rope
a single slitted window shone thin light flickering a corner closet there,
filled with provisions just in case our lives to spare,
soup and beans, ketchup, all such common stuff, breathed a sigh, turned courage filled, had had enough,
when in the glimmering dark appeared
suspended head, grinning teeth, bulging eyes no body neath,
set feet running back up above slammed the door against the dead, not recognizing until years later
a simple ugly Florida trip carved coconut head.

Replaced Visions

I thought that I would never see
a thing a lovely as a tree
...hummed other little ones along with me
until young minds attention turned
to visions that lit forest fires as
trees all encompassingly burned

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Tomorrow Then

Tie-dyed peace
arms twined
...in tight-bodied
embrace
faces flushed
with all that
is to come
definitely
tomorrow
without a doubt

Short-Sighted

20/800 vision wasn't very good-I promised as soon as something
could be done I absolutely would
this at a time when I could bounce-a quarter on my abs
living in a turquoise land-devoid of yellow cabs
...springing tight muscled-from a sailboat far out to sea
where all shimmered under surface-blurred impossible to see
An impressionistic painting-my life under sea and up above
to see all the wonders that there were - a distant surreal love
Years passed and books and degrees- reading long into the night
holding tomes against my nose in the near dark tiny I did write
Until a time when youth had passed-and the turquoise sea rolled far away
and laser surgery was finally here - I lined up right away
It worked and I could see in the distance up ahead
Forgetting that now my vision used for writing and reading what is read
Reaching for glasses when diving in this stage's sea of wonders
seeing distance now instead

Visions

Etheral, ephemeral
swaying sheer
shifting, softly
coming near
...forming shapely
substance simple
solidity here
then slipping into
sunshine vanishing
there

Below The Lid

Faces above
beneath a cerulean
sky
gentle music
...playing a
silent lullabye
softly, softly,
closing of the
lid
beneath which
my mortal remains
will remain forever hid

Vision Of A Son

Out there in the velvet
night soaked in sex
and promise
a son reaches for
...a girl quite young
as the future slides
like ribbon entwining
them as one

Shoulder Cold

Nothing colder than
the shoulder
turned to an open hand

Oblivious

They eat their burgers
in windows
facing the snowy
street where men
with lowered eyes watch

Please

But I love you said he
and what said she
does that have to do
with me?

Watch Out

Watch out for her
said the odd mother
to the new stepmother
the little girl standing
between them
that one - is a cold one
a little bitch if you must
know...
This won't be any fairytale

Womb Chill

There is a place
of unparalleled cold
in every woman's womb
where once an awaited
babe died unheld

Kaitlin In The Woods

Finger poised above
tender child flesh
upturned neck flops
in impossible angles
The finger has touched
his own daughter's neck
dazzled by its softness
The father finger hovering
here postponing the inevitable
descent, hoping for warmth
and finding as it probes in
gloved professionalism
only the expected cold

That Scarf Upon Her Head

I used to laugh at my mother
along with my younger brother
as she would ready herself for bed
a bathrobe, socks and a scarf upon her head
my father slept there on her right side
the window in coldest night open way open gaping wide
I used to laugh at my mother
Along with my little brother
at the way she could never get warm enough
as my father under lightest cover told us he lied there in the buff
I'm not laughing so much now-a-days as tortilla wrapped I lay
my body layered, my feet encased, as warm I try to stay
chagrined, stymied, filled with regret at mocking my mother pointed rude
as now, the man I married long ago, sleeps lightly covered, warm and nude

Cold Words

"I don't like the way
you walk, I don't like
the way you talk,
I don't like you.
She said leaving
her kid sister alone
with a sobbing man
and a small velvet box

Night Terror

Lying there in the dank
blankness of dark
waiting for the warmth
promised but not believed
glimmers of icy eternity
broken by pounding gasp
of breath regained and
awakening returned from
the frozen arms of terrored
night

A Cold

Achoo, drip mucous
in the stream
of steam that is cold

Shoulder Cold

Nothing colder than
the shoulder
turned to an open hand